wishing away ~~~

This is really irritating.

2012-01-16T23:22:00.001+08:00

194~

You know, it's rare that I really want something, to earn something using my own ability and all. Yeah. I currently actually do have a goal. But because of that, I feel really competitive. I'm like totally not wanting to listen to others views, though we should be working together. Yes, I know I should listen, I should accept, I should I should I should. But this competitive side just overwhelms me. I really don't want to feel this way. I want to appreciate them for the effort, yeah, they may be better than me at this. I want to acknowledge that fact. But I feel so selfish:( its like I don't want others to fight with me for it. Everyone feels like a threat. Every single action starts me up into some cautious mode...

I have to overcome this. I have to not be so competitive. I have to not be so selfish. I have to grow up...

Its like. I feel like I'm this little guy, this small little chick in the midst of all the chickens, trying to survive? No... Trying to surpass them. It shouldn't be this way. I can only try my best. But I know I can't. Until I get rid of this emotion. This irritating, annoying feeling inside of me.

I have to understand:

Give others a chance.
Give yourself one

193~

2012-01-07T23:39:00.005+08:00

193~

Nice nice~♥

He's cute... hahahaha totally different personality from what he was in runningman. >< regardless, his voice is nice!! ♥ Kim Jong Kook~

192~

2011-12-27T14:10:00.001+08:00

192~

191~

2011-12-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

191~

190~

2011-12-16T10:47:00.001+08:00

190~

189~

2011-12-10T00:38:00.001+08:00

189~

Went out with the JAMS today❤ totally miss them like hell:( enjoyed myself loads today lah:) though we didn't spend much time together today, but yeah... It was great nonetheless:)

Went to amkhub, to eat lunch, play that fridge thingy... Spent like 1hr++ doing that! Hahha then went shopping with them for the rest of the time. Ok... One part is where they forbidden me to enter whatts jr coz they were picking out my bdae present which idk whether in the end they bought or not:/ hahaha then.... Idk leh. We just walked! Haha and as usual, spammed pics lor:)

Ohohoh!!! And we say this snowman!!! Hahaha we stalked it>.< then took a pic with it using mun's Polaroid:) and and and! I saw this cute bag at artbox! Heehee >.< but I didn't get it lah. I was like $60? Haha as usual, went gaga over the soft toys... Etc. hahaha though what we did was quite usual, but it's was still absolutely fun!:) they might be coming my hse for gym session next week... Dk.. See bah:)

Ok gotta sleep. Tmr working:/ oh I mean later working>.<

nights~ :)

Please let it be over

2011-12-05T00:19:00.001+08:00

188~

"How do you expect us to trust you again?"
These few words keep replaying themselves in my mind, hurting more each time I remember it.
I know it's hard to trust whatever I say now.
I know I failed you once again.
I know I did wrong too.

But I didn't want any of this. I didn't know things would turn out like this either. I didn't expect things to go so wrong. I feel cheated too... And now, I'm caught in the middle, not knowing what move next, not knowing what to do anymore...

I know you don't feel good about it at all. Yes, I know, as my parents, you do feel unjust for me, you feel that I am being cheated. Yea, I know. And I don't blame you for that. I admit. I am at fault too.

I am so freaking stressed out now. Yes, I told you he said that aft the 2 weeks, it was between us and the company. Yeah, and that's what we believed too. They were willing to pay us at a higher rate, we accepted. However, right after we did so, the table turned on us, and due to some misunderstanding (I guess that may be what they called it..) we remained at that rate. Yeah. We've tried all we can, to try gain back our rights. You are concerned. I understand. But at the same time, you're pressuring more, do you know? I don't want this. But neither do I want this to blow up. I would take the blame.

I didn't find out clearly before signing the contract. I assumed things to be what I wanted them to be. Yes yes. It's all my fault. I should have seek out and clarify everything before agreeing. I don't want you to go confront them. It's scary, in a way... I don't want to frustrate them anymore. ( I think he is slightly frustrated coz we emailed him too much)

Can we just please let this go? Yeah. You can blame it on me. It's my fault anyway. I know I let you down again. Not clarifying and understanding things in full detail before agreeing on them. I know, and I'm sorry. Again.

I just feel so stressed up, so pressurized, so helpless. I really don't know how long I can hold on anymore. Actually, I can't hold on already... Currently, things are blurry in front of me now, w tears silently sliding down my face in this quiet environment. I just want this "misunderstanding" to end. Really. Its caused enough trouble.

What are words

2011-11-15T22:09:00.001+08:00

187~

"What are words, when you really don't mean them, when you say them? What are words if they're only for good times then they're torn" -Chris medina

Words, once said, can't be taken back. That's what we were told since young. And thats what we believe in now. Words said, words spoken, words used, all when used wrongly or so... Becomes some daggers piercing through another's heart.

Words aren't meant to hurt anyone. But neither is it meant to be said when you don't mean it. Words are meant to be used and said from the bottom of your heart. Not with the intent of insulting others, but with the purity of the heart to wholeheartedly aid others to progress.

However, some words, after having said them many times, lose their meaning. Just like the story of the boy who cried wolf. Having said "wolf" too many times, when he actually meant it, the villagers doubted him, doubted his words. In reality, words like "sorry", said too many a times, would result in others doubting the sincerity of your sorry.

For me, I mean what I say. If I've ever said anything hurtful and such, I'm sorry and I meant it. I can't make people forgive me. Neither can I assure that everyone will believe me. But it all boils down to my conscience. I know I truly repent and I know I have not let anybody down by being untrue and insincere in my apology.

For me, I mean what I say.
"I said what I meant, and I meant what I said" -Horton
To me, sorry does help the situation. It does help to gain forgiveness from another. It does mend the gap that was forming between two people. However, saying sorry doesn't get rid of this incident in one's memory. It's better to prevent then to recover.

So far. I've been using "sorry" as an example. I think it works really well as one as it has always been the one that is used mostly, without meaning. So I urge all of you. To actually say things when u mean it, and not say something mean.

I guess, what I am trying to say here and now, is that... Please only say things that you truly mean. Obviously, it's fine to say jokes once in a while, but your main aim of it should be to lighten the atmosphere, rather than truly directing it at someone. Jokes should be taken moderately, and not used excessively. We are all humans. We all have feelings. We all have the right to be treated well.

Lastly, a pice of advice.

186~

2011-11-08T19:26:00.001+08:00

Hols started for about 2 weeks already now... It really passed by very fast. And I've finally learnt how to play bridge! ^.^ have been staying up the past few nights to play with them (Ervin, Brian & one more person who is online) haha not bad:) its fun!

Everyone is starting to be busy... :( which means, less go out time. Haiz:( but I'm gonna get busy too. Work! 2 jobs ley... One is WEP frm school, and the other is at the hotel working as waitress together with: Janice Shihui Shihming Ervin Quanrui and maybe Brian as well. So hopefully it'll be great:)

Hope life's been great for y'all so far and have a great holiday! ^.^

Personality test

2011-11-01T22:26:00.003+08:00

185~

1. 假如世界末日来临，你只能解救一种动物，你会救以下哪一种？

a、兔、b、羊、c、鹿、d、马

2. 在非洲旅行途中，你造访了一个部落，部落首领坚持让你选一种动物带回去当纪念品，你会哪一种？

a、猴、b、狮、c、蛇、d、长颈鹿

3. 你做错事了，上天惩罚你变成人以外的动物，你想变成下面哪一种动物？ a、狗、b、猫、c、马、d、蛇

4. 假(jia)如你有能力使某种动物消失，你会选择哪一种？
a、狮、b、蛇、c、鳄鱼、d鲨鱼

5. 有一天，你碰上了一种会说人话的动物，你希望那是哪种动物？
a、羊、b、马、c、兔、d、鸟

6. 在一个孤岛上，你只能选一种动物来陪你，你会选：
a、狗、b、猪、c、母牛、d、鸟

7. 假(jia)如你有能力可以驯服所有的动物，你会选择哪种动物来当宠物呢？
a、恐龙、b、白老虎、c、北极熊、d、豹

8. 假(jia)如你有5分钟的时间可以当一种动物，你会选择当：
a、狮、b、猫、c、马、d、鸽子

答案是：

这些题目都告诉了你什么？

1．你在现实生活中会被哪一类人所吸引：

a、兔——有分裂的人格，外表像冰而内心炽热的人。

b、羊——重视顺从而温暖的人。

c、鹿——优雅及有礼貌的人。

d、马——不受约束向往自由的人。

2．哪种求爱手段最容易使你觉得情不自禁：

a、猴——有创造性，从不会让你感到无趣。

b、狮——直来直往，直接地告诉你他爱你。

c、蛇——心情摇摆不定，忽冷忽热，游移不定。

d、长颈鹿——有耐性，对你永远不放弃。

3．你想给爱人什么样的印象：

a、狗——忠诚忠实，永不改变。

b、猫——有个性的。

c、马——乐观的。

d、蛇——可通融的。

4．你最讨厌的个性中，哪一个会使你与爱人分手：

a、狮——你的爱人傲慢自大，表现得像一个独裁者，令你很生气。

b、蛇——情绪化，太过喜怒无常，而你不知道如何取悦他。

c、鳄鱼——无情冷血又爱讽刺人。

d、鲨鱼——不安全牢靠。

5．你想跟你的爱人建立一个什么样的关系：

a、羊——你俩不用多说话，用心沟通，对方自然知道你要什么。

b、马——你俩能谈任何事情，没有秘密。

c、兔——一种让你一直能够感受到温暖与恋爱的关系。

d、鸟——你和爱人不只关心现在也关心将来，一种你能与之一起成长的长期关系。

6．你会有外遇吗：

a、狗——你重视社会跟道德规范，婚后你不会犯这样的错。

b、猪——你无法抗拒欲望，很有可能会越轨。

c、母牛——你不会主动，也不会拒绝，但你会很努力试着不要这样做。

d、鸟——你从来就不够坚定，事实上，你不适合婚姻，且你不想做承诺。

7．你对婚姻的看法：

a、恐龙——你非常消极，你不热内有快乐婚姻的存在。

b、白老虎——你认为婚姻是件很珍贵的事，一旦结婚，你会很珍惜婚姻及你的伴侣。

c、北极熊——你害怕婚姻，你认为婚姻会夺走你的自由。

d、豹——你一直想要结婚，但事实上，你甚至不知道婚姻到底是什么。

8．此刻你对爱情的看法：

a、狮——你总是渴望爱情，能为爱情做任何事，但你不会轻易坠入情网。

b、猫——你非常以自我为中心，认为爱情对你是可以轻易得到和放弃的东西。

c、马——你不想被固定的关系绑住，你只想处处调情。

d、鸽子——你认为爱情是二人互相的承诺。

184~ i'm just so confused

2011-10-31T01:13:00.002+08:00

184~

I really confused now. I have no idea what i should do, what i can do, nor what i want to do.

They've been telling me to steer clear from you.

They've been telling me to ignore you.

They've been telling me to get you out of my life.

They've been telling me to beware as you've been making use of me.

They've been telling me to be cautious of your words.

They've been telling me that you've changed,

and unfortunately, for the worse.

I don't know who I should trust now. Its all so confusing. I agree that you've changed, not for the better. I'm sorry, but i have to admit that. What i can't admit is that, that is really how you've become. I hope to be right, that you aren't like that, but better, how you were. Just nice.

I want to think that their impression of you now, is due to the fact that they didnt know you.

I want to think that their wrong, about who you really am.

I want to think that I'm right, knowing that you are better than what they say.

But...

Everytime they tell me

Everytime i wonder

Everytime i worry.

They say you have been toying around with my feelings, making use of me, trying to use me to hoist you up, in the popularity chart. However, for one, I don't see how the last point is achievable. Regardless, I'm still worried about whether i am able to trust you. Should i trust you, or them? They've been telling me all these, as they dont want me to get hurt. I appreciate them for being there for me all these time. I know you've been trying to prove to me, that you are true in some way.

I'm really in a fix, and i really want to find my way out. I don't want to remain stuck in this situation. I really want to stop being confused, and do something right. For once. A decision which hurts no one, a decision where everyone is satisfied...

I'm still stuck on believing that you are nice in nature, but...

Am i right?

2011-10-23T19:35:00.001+08:00

183~

POKEMON ASTROLOGY SIGNS

Vulpix – You are very energetic, courageous and quick witted! You love attention. However, you might find yourself being impulsive and impatient, and possibly be a little bit selfish.

Growlithe – You are patient, reliable, loyal and very determined to achieve your goals. Be careful of becoming possessive, self-indulgent or greedy, though.

Eevee – You’re very adaptive of any environment you happen to find yourself in. You’re also very intellectual and witty. However, a cunning person like you might find themselves being nervous, tense and afraid of imperfection.

Mew – You’re a sympathetic person, so you may find that other people’s joys and sorrows become your own. You’re also cautious, and can be very protective of those close to you. You may have a habit of being overemotional or moody, and you probably find it hard to let go of things you love.

Wigglytuff – You’re probably the most generous and warmhearted person you know. Your enthusiasm causes people to like being around you. You’re faithful, and very loving. However, you might find yourself becoming bossy and patronizing without noticing.

Dragonair – You are a pretty modest person, right? And shy, as well. You’re a very good listener, and very diligent, too! You’re incredibly intelligent and analytical. On the downside, you might find yourself worrying about many things, including not being perfect. You also may come across as harsh sometimes, intentional or not.

Persian – You have a lot of charm. You’re a very easy going person, and you’re very sociable. You might even be called a flirt! You’re also quite changeable, or easily influenced, so be careful who you hang out with. Try your best to make your own decisions.

Pikachu – When you know what you want, you’re determined to get it and can be very forceful about it. You’re very passionate about many things. People are drawn to you because of your exciting, electric personality. You may have a habit of becoming jealous or resentful, though, and you can also be very secretive.

Clefairy – You are definitely an optimist. You enjoy the feeling of being free, and don’t let heavy emotions weigh you down. You’re a very honest and straightforward person. Sometimes, though, your optimism blinds you from the truth, and causes you to be careless and irresponsible.

Haunter – You’re a very practical person, and also very disciplined. People may look up to you for that. You’re also very humorous- on purpose or simply by accident! However, you may tend to be very pessimistic and judgmental. Lighten up!

Bulbasaur – You are very friendly, honest and loyal. You’re very good at using your imagination, and have many original thoughts. You’re also very good at being independent- you probably prefer to be alone in a lot of your free time. You’re not very emotional, though, and you tend to be unpredictable. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.

Lapras – You’re very sensitive to the world around you. You try your best to be kind to others, and help out as much as you possibly can. You rarely worry about your own needs- you’re happy as long as the ones you care about are. However, you’re very idealistic, and feel let down when things don’t go as planned. You may also be easily led.

^.^

I'm really sorry

2011-10-19T21:37:00.002+08:00

182~

I don't know what's going on with me, with my emotions, with my head. They've just been so freakingly screwed up recently, making me do things I honestly didn't want I do. I left my emotions get the better of me, screwing up my relations with others, hurting and insulting others so unknowingly.

God knows how many times I've cried recently, I've lost count... Why do I keep acting without using my brains, doing ridiculous and hurting stuff to others and to regret it the next moment? Today has been the worst, just couldn't stop. When people talk to me, I'll just start all over again.

Brian, I'm really really sorry I let my emotions get the better of me today, and saying such stuff to you. I really didn't mean it at all. I know you could still be angry at me and all now, but just hopefully, u'll see this, though I doubt so, and understand. However, i don't expect you to forgive me at all. I know I was really mean and insensitive, so I'm really sorry. :(

If only I could back time, undo what I did, perhaps the mistakes will nt occur again. And perhaps, I could fix things and perhaps, everything would be how it should be? :'(

2011-10-18T20:04:00.002+08:00

181~

I know you're sick and tired of enduring all these, you're sick and tired of feeling whenever i pair you up with people. I know it gets annoying over time, with you trying to explain things over and over again, but with me, acting like I don't really care, and shrugging it off. You hate it when people use my phone, to text you, to send you all those rubbish and ridiculous crap. Well, at least now you know how i felt that time. All these has happened to me before, and didn't you realize, you were a part of it. However, I'm not acting like this, as an act of revenge, nor to let you feel how I felt. I know it doesn't feel good, not at all.

Remember I told you before, the insecurity I feel whenever people close to me, mixes around with people I don't know? There you go. I highly think that this could be the reason why I'm acting like that. So, all these while, I've been pairing you up with others, not to agitate you, but perhaps to convince myself, to curb this insecurity.

I know, now, you may think I'm weird and all, having this weird source of insecurity of my friendships ties with others. Neither do I want to be like this, but I have no idea how to control it, as I have no idea what caused it.

So, after reading what you've said, I guess I do have to explain whats going on in the weirded head of mine. I know I've been a bitch, and I'm sorry for being one. So, hopefully you can understand, and 体谅, while I try my best to "save" this. I know this time I've gone overboard, and kinda caused things to become cold between us, and that's obviously not what I want. So I really wish that someday, things would be better between us, back to how it was. I know whatever I say now will not be of much use, but I just want to say "I'm Sorry", and "I did not mean it".

2011-10-18T18:42:00.005+08:00

180~

This is really cool =)

and idk what to post, so, just post a random nice song bah =)

So cute! lol me like the horse, and ninetail... (damn, forgot names =P)

179~

2011-10-16T01:45:00.001+08:00

179~

You know, if you could have just told me, that I've been a trouble to you, a burden you wish to put down, and u want your peace and stability once again, without me interrupting so much, I would accept it and perhaps leave you alone.

If only you could just tell me what you really wanted, what you want me to do, what you needed me to do, what I should do, in order to help you, I would adhere to your wishes.

You didn't have to constantly try pushing me away, hoping that someday I would just give up and leave you alone. Well, news flash, I'll never. Until you tell me to.

I can't read minds, neither can I read what you heart is trying to say. Fact is, I can't even hear what my heart's trying to tell me. So, how am I supposed to "follow my heart" when what's left of it is muted.

Nevertheless, how am I supposed to know what you are thinking, when u don't say them out? How am I supposed to know what you are thinking, when all you say is "nevermind" or "it's not important"? How am I supposed to know what you are thinking, when both your mouth and your heart are sealed?

You say whatever I'm saying is rubbish, when they are facts. Both of us know it is true, you being so close to her, it's not convincing me, that what you tell me is true. How do u expect me to trust you when what I see with my own eyes tell me likewise?

I may seem like I'm making a huge fuss over nothing, but I've gotta say, it means something to me. Just that you don't know it. So forget it, just treat it as though I didn't say anything, just continue with how things are going. And we'll see where the future brings us.

But before I end, I must say that I'm really sorry If during these god-knows-how-many days, I've made your life miserable, hurting you over and over again, being your main problem, and for everything that I've done, I'm Sorry.

4D chalet <3

2011-10-15T00:16:00.001+08:00

Yoyo~ just came back from chalet, and yeah, it was quite fun^.^ and apparently alot of laughters and all:) I really love our class! :) haha details, use pics to link and have fun! Okok I'm tired, so I should go sleep. Yes? Yes. Good night world! ^.^

Freedom!:)

2011-10-12T13:44:00.001+08:00

Happy day!! Haha ok, maybe not the start of the day, but okay... Later it'll be great:) class chalet 2011^.^ an I haven't pack. Crap haha... Okok Tata :)

Day1 with my itouch<3

2011-10-10T16:39:00.001+08:00

Today, Chem exam, yeah, I can do.... But I just feel like I screwed up big time:( now currently at sch lib, and feeling useless :( I just can't do anything leh... It's like those easy questions just are too cheem for me. Why leh?? :( :(

Hopefully the next few tests will be good, though I have no confidence of doing well at all, for both...

*the good thing of having itouch:) I can post :)

The Sweet 16th<3

2011-10-08T22:58:00.001+08:00

Happy sweet 16 to me!! Thanks to all the awesome people who remembered! >.< and all the great people who wished me! Haha ok... I'll post a pic of my presents soon? Haha but not now lah... Now EOYs :( I'm leading a sad life with all the screwing up of exams...

But I gotta say, though this birthday isn't the one I've always dreamed of, the one that I've been waiting for, the one that I hoped to have for the past 16 years... But it's really quite a nice one :) thanks to all the dearies who made yesterday great :) so THANK YOU<3 love y'all loads!<3

Since my sweet sixteen is over, I guess perhaps I may just drop all the things that have been bothering me all these while, and start a while new life, happier and well, just more awesome ^.^

So once again, thank you all! <3

2011-10-02T21:54:00.003+08:00

174~

2011-09-30T23:43:00.001+08:00

173~

But i believe that time will heal all wounds, even that of a broken heart.

2011-09-27T23:10:00.002+08:00

172~

I don't care.

It doesn't matter.

It isn't how i think it is.

It's gonna be alright.

When am i going to stop deceiving myself?

When am i going to stop being so delusional?

When am i going to stop lying to myself, lying to everyone around me?

All the little things, why am i getting bothered by them?

All the little things, why am i getting annoyed by them?

All the little things, why am i getting irritated by their existence?

I keep telling myself... No, they don't matter. No, they won't make a huge difference. No, they'll pass soon. But, just why, why do they keep surfacing in my mind, replaying like a screwed up movie, haunting me always? Every time I see something related, my mind links them to those pieces of crap, letting me piece the puzzle together, linking up every bit of information I know. Soon, i start to ponder, sometimes just pondering too far off. But then i'll realize, i'm caring too much. But why am i caring? why am i letting these bother me?I just want to know why...

Those smiles i carry and put on each day, those laughters, those happy faces, are they real? Sometimes I honestly know they are for real. But are all the same? Are all real expressions of joy? Are they real? Honestly, I have no clue. But I do know 1 fact. Those tears, are always never fake. (well, mainly cause i don't think i can just make myself cry like that... but yeah)

*this is bad... i'm becoming emo... =( *

2011-09-25T21:34:00.003+08:00

171~

Help me. I'm SAD :(

Eoy is here in just a week. Thats kinda suckish... I've been studying and all, but i just don't feel prepared. Not one bit. Its like, it here before I know it. and there's so much to learn, and revise! There's just not enough time, but so much to do. I've been feeling moody the whole day, without understanding why. Thats the most suckish part. Its really not a nice feeling, you know... =/

feeling sad without knowing why... I'm suffering from Hypophrenia (feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause). and i hate it. =(

I don't think its due to EOY, well, maybe partially, but. I doubt its fully it. I just don't want to feel =( anymore...

2011-09-23T23:33:00.004+08:00

170~

You know, seeing others walk past, I'm always there. Left there, to wonder why I can't be like them. Seeing them walk past with such confidence, such aura. Seeing them brimming with full pride and raising their head high, walking around as if nothing scares them.

I feel inferior. I feel hidden. Unable to hold my head up high, face the world, and scream out loud that I'm beautiful. (Though obviously I know I'm not...) I don't feel as if I deserve anything and everything that I have right now...

Everyday I ask myself, if there could ever be just one day. One day, for me to be "perfect" , but all i always have, is a reply, of a depressing "no". People dream of being perfect, and honestly speaking, so do I. It seems nearly impossible, neither does it seem as though I'm halfway there. Its like a finishing line, in which I will never ever reach.

However, part of me, still does not want to be perfect. I know its a dream, I know its a goal, to most people... But, why? I guess... its coz...

But, main thing.

I want to know myself, that I too, can be like them, in terms of holding my head high.

I want to know myself, that I too, can be proud of myself.

I want to know myself, that I too, can be full of confidence.

I want to know myself, that I too, can be such a person.

I want to know myself, that I too, can be beautiful, just the way I am.

But, that's just something, I won't know, I don't know, I will never know...

(Ps. I'm having internal conflict. =/)

2011-09-22T22:54:00.004+08:00

169~

btw, i like the bicycle... LOL

2011-09-21T19:20:00.004+08:00

-EXTRAAAAAAA-

Oh... HELPPPPPPPP T.T i think my nail is gonna come out... *sobs* must be that time de interclass...... ='(

-------

168~

People ask, what has happened to me? What actually happened to the old me? The innocent, pure one, the nice one people talk and like. Have i really changed that much? Have i really changed for the worse? Am I slowly becoming what people think i was?

Slut?

Scandalous?

Flirt?

Bitch.

Am i really becoming what is said? Am i neglecting people around me, people who stayed with me throughout the lowest times of my life?

If I really am becoming someone i hate to become, becoming someone i dont want to be, Its best if someone could just tell me. I dont want to be, i dont want to become something or someone me myself and everyone else, hates. Why am i becoming someone like this? Becoming what i dread of becoming.

I guess i have been through quite alot this year, and these, moulding me bit by bit, becoming another person. Someone i can't recognize.

I look into the mirror, wondering, where the old me has disappeared. Looking into the mirror, i fear myself. Looking into the mirror, i'm afraid of seeing someone i don't know, someone i've become.

我直害怕，有一天，连我也认不出井水里的自己。。。

Yeah, i miss my old self too... =(

(ps. i know this post ABIT de contradict the previous one... but... HECK! Different day, different mood! hahahahaha)

2011-09-16T23:56:00.001+08:00

167~

Face it. I'm just a normal girl.

The one which flows with the crowd.

The one hidden in the flow.

The one hiding in the shadows.

The one behind the scenes.

Face it. I'm just the Girl-Next-Door.

The one you think of when problems arise.

The one who is your best friend yet. (probably?)

The one secretly staying beside you, always.

The one who is always there.

Face it. That's enough for me. Just to be there for everyone around me. That's enough.

To be the one you look for when you face problems.
To be the one you think of when you need someone by you side.

To be the one comforting you whenever you're down

To be the one there for you, now and always

I'm not perfect. Not the prettiest person you've ever seen, not the smartest person you've encountered. Neither the hottest, nor the nicest. Never the perfect one you dreamed of. Yet, I'm happy being the imperfect me. I'm glad to be who currently am, with the messy hair, with the serious face, with the crooked smile. I step back, and am actually glad to be me. Me, not the most popular, not the most beautiful, not the dream-girl, but happy. Me, experiencing ups and downs of turns, having the imperfect life, boring and dull, but happy.

Though with the imperfections, being the just the ordinary "average" girl, no looks, no bod, no personality, I'm happy. I guess.

All i want now, is to be there for people around me. People i care about, people around me, people who mean alot to me. I just want to be there, now, forever, always.

I don't mind being the girl-next-door. The one supporting you secretly, the one you know you can look for, whenever things don't turn out right. It just doesn't seem right.

But for the record...

So, all i want. Is for everyone to be happy, always. I hope just someday, I could have a genie, who would grant my wishes. As for now, I depend on that star in the sky~

2011-09-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

166~

Sometimes, life just doesn't give "esc" as an option...

No matter how much you want it.

2011-09-04T21:21:00.003+08:00

165~

Yes, I seriously don’t know what you are going through.
Yes, I don’t know how you feel about things now.
Yes, I understand that you are just unable to trust me enough, or anyone, to even voice out what is going through your mind.

But, do you know, just how helpless I feel, when I see people around me, people I care about, suffering in silence and there is nothing I can do to help, even by a little. This helplessness isn’t a nice feeling. Not nice at all.

Perhaps I was just too dumb, or just plain blind to not realize that I was the cause of all these.
I want to help, but am I making matters worse?
I want you to be happier, but am I preventing that from happening?

Can someone just tell me what to do? Just some instructions or perhaps just a hint? I’m at a loss now… I just want to stop harming people around me, stop them from feeling down due to things I’ve done. Its enough, its time to stop...

The guilt is killing me from inside, and i don't want to die like this. Is there just, anything i can do? I'll do it, as long as it is within my means... I'll try my best. I swear...

I swear...

2011-09-01T22:20:00.002+08:00

164~

awww.... :( no more *hugs* figure... hahaha anyway... me has been busy for the past few days... :( TIRED~ and tmr cant rest either!!! My PANDA RINGS TOTALLY COME OUT LIAO LOR!!! T.T

Lets see... I've been out, out and out! AND I HATE IT WHEN I GO OUT TO DO WORK, THEN IN THE END GET DISTRACTED THEN WHEN I GO HOME, I DIE!!!! LOL RETARDEDDDDDDDD!! U KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! WITH CAKES AND DRINK, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO MY WORK!? LOL (ok, i sound like a pig... but i didnt finish it myself!)

Then wed, supposedly ACE proj, but in the end no one felt like doing, so we ended up slacking in class... LOL

THURS:

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ TEACHERS DAY CELEBRATION WAS AWESOME! LOL AND MEETING WITH PRI SCH CLASSMATES WERE AWESOME TOO!!! hahahahaha! anyways, WE FREAKINGLY CHANGED ALOT...>< (pics on fb...)

People in particular:

Quiet Chen Xi grew to 177cm =.=

Sicko En Quan totally became alot more sporty / photogenic

Lazy Junheng also became alot more sporty

Girls didnt change much... but the guys sure did! LOL totally missed the class <3 hahaha. Met alot of friends too... hahaha took a mini class photo... had lunch at subway, and Gigg came with his friends and couldnt stop "playing" with my hair =.= left soon to go junheng's hse, where we spent most of the time playing cards. LOL!!

Went off with Chen Xi and Enquan at about 7.10? Yeap. and now i'm tired. hahahaha okokok

TMR IS NG SIOWYING'S BIRTHDAY!!!! ANOTHER BUSY DAYY!!!! lol shall go sleep soon. Nights! =)

*PS: Two people just very nicely dao-ed me!!! =( u know who you are........

2011-08-27T01:10:00.009+08:00

163~

Anyone needs one? LOL (this pic is damn cute...)♥

Hmm, since its after 12, i shall take it as it is 27Aug now. =P

Anyways...

昨天到底是什么日子？怎么大家的心情那么差？事情二连三地发生？

I have no idea what is going on between all of your heads now, but no matter what, don't worry. Tomorrow will definitely be better :) Don't doubt it and it will be.

"Your surroundings don't affect your mood. Your thinking does"

~ a.w:)

Don’t let whatever that happened in your life, get you down. Yes, it will affect nevertheless, but get face it differently. Obstacles in life aren’t something that opposes you. Take them as things which will help you. They helps you become more street smart, more conscious about your surroundings, showing you mistakes not to repeat, making you someone better.

Betrayal, teaches you not to betray people instead. Once you’ve been betrayed, you know how the hurt feels like, where you know that sour feeling that kills you from inside. Yes, it is a bad thing to be betrayed, and better if not felt. Some people started off, being able to trust people with all their hearts. However, one day, they get betrayed and since then, are unable to trust anyone else again. That betrayal felt must have left a great impact, one that would not be so easy to overcome. By keeping everything to yourself, if that the best solution? I beg to differ. Bottling feelings and hurtful truths, will never be the perfect solution. Yes, some things are better left unsaid… but only to the wrong people. Everyone should be able to have someone or perhaps something to confide to. I remember, and I still do so now, I confide in my diary (which I don’t write daily) and my toys. They don’t appear to be good advisors, but they are perfect listeners. Moreover, you don’t have to speak to them verbally…

In any case, u may find the above thing random, but w/e lah hahaha… =)

But don’t worry. Tomorrow WILL be a better day. It always will be. It’s the little bitty gritty things that make a day great. Not those huge bad pieces of crap that life throws in. Well, you have to agree, that without those crap, you can’t define nice.

So, people,

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY! EVERYTHING WILL BE OK! =)

“Everything will ok okay in the end. If things are not okay, it is not yet the end.”

~anonymous

Anyway, here are some really nice / sweet / LOL things for yall to look at! ^.^ Cheer up alright?!

Cheer up! :)

Doggie is sad that you are sad...

And porcupine is bowing to you, pleading you to Cheer Up! =P

SEE! now even Iron Man is helping you with iron-ing!

And lastly, abit anti-climax, but...

So..

"Smile, cause that's when you look your best!"

~ a.w :)

Good night everyone... its 2am ALR?!

BYE!!!

*I just hope ya'll would HOPEFULLY feel slightly better =) *

2011-08-24T20:23:00.003+08:00

162~

天秤座

木星运行到天秤座，每12年才一次，让你充满冲劲。加上火星，金星和冥王星的三角连线，　事业爱情都所向无敌。　

幸运颜色：草黄

hahahaha someone translate for me??

Weee~ suddenly crazy over my horoscope! lol! So.. here you go! ^.^

♥ like the colour combi! ><

O.O

YAY PINK!!! AND OPAL!! ♥♥ Though i would prefer it if it was 7...

^.^

2011-08-23T23:14:00.005+08:00

161~

YAY 4D WINS CHAMPS BOTH GUY AND GIRLS!! WEEEEE~

now nobody will 看不起我们 alr! ^.^ (aNGel, u abit nice >:[ )

anyway. I guess all my injuries are worth it! >< LOL i dont even know how i hurt myself so much!!!! T.T its like i'm injury prone these few days... :'( sad... ouch u know...

Injuries:

-Both big toes are of different colour! >< and pain when i add pressure...T.T

-Bruises on knee, and hip. (i dont know how i got the hip one though...=P)

-Cuts / abrasion on left hand (nicely, i can draw smiley face!) :)

-ok... maybe a slight sprain on ankle...

-muscles very tight LOL

I'm zai! hahahaha =P

But its really nice! =) last interclass le.... and 1st WOOTS!!! ^.^

Good job and well done 4D! ♥♥♥

Love you all!! ♥

oyeah!!!! ME AND ANN DAMN HAPPY TODAY TOO!!! our LA PW got 19/20! highest!! ^.^ we spent super lot of time on it lor.... so ^.^ YAY!!! ♥

idk why i like it, but yeah=)

toodles~

(seems like today wasnt that bad afterall...^.^)

2011-08-21T18:15:00.002+08:00

160~

Perfect... ♥

2011-08-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

159~

Yay!!! my toe is alot better now!!! =) it isnt as purple as yesterday!!! Though the blood clot still there... =P It still hurts when i put pressure, but not as pain already! Hopefully the nail doesn't drop off!!! T.T anyway...

I wanna thank ppl! LOL
Thanks to:

Rachel P: Helped me bandage my right big toe! LOL
Sining / Shihming / Brian Chua: Noticed my right big toe was bleeding. LOL (which made me check my left one...><
Qian Joo: Helped bandage my left and RE-bandaged my right. LOL
Jennifer / Ervin : For LAUGHING!!!! hhahaha

HungHui: For offering to cab me home
Raphael: For walking me home. LOL + offering to carry bag and me... =.= though of coz i didnt agree.

Alyssa / Ann / Hunghui / Janice / Kai xin / Qian Joo / Rachel Phua / Shihui / Sining / Darren :

Smsed me to tell me GWS ahahha

okok chengyus srsly hate me now, and i srsly gotta make them love me, so...

tata~

(Hope i can play by tues...)

2011-08-14T19:07:00.003+08:00

158~

LOL Stupid MingJun saw me today! but not sure... then don't dare say hi!!! >:( hahaha damn long never see him le lor... haha. Then sms me, if i was at Parkway! >< Stupid lah you!!! LOL he's gonna kill me, if he sees this... =P (I realised this is damn anti-climax =.= nvm...)

~bye

2011-08-06T15:49:00.004+08:00

157~

Someone apparently went to the movies and i didnt know... =.= anyway, the popcorn box had some real cool stuff! ^.^

WHAT YOUR POPCORN CHOICE SAYS ABOUT YOU?

FIRSTLY, PICK YOUR CHOICE OF POPCORN!

A) Sweet

B) Salty

For people who chose A) Sweet....

Sweet Popcorn Eaters:

Sweet popcorn eaters tend to be romantic souls who hanker after happy endings and believe in true love, even when their heart’s been broken and patched… and broken again. They tend to like ice cream, chocolate, cookies, candy and other sweet things. They make good friends who will always try to cheer you up when you’re down, and will gloss over the ugly truth to avoid hurting your feelings. If you ask a sweet popcorn-eating friend if your bum looks fat in a certain pair of pants, he/she will say no – the pants are poorly cu… or simply tell a sweet little white lie. Sweet popcorn eaters respond to pretty, bright colors and bright, bouncy pop tunes. They have lots of positive energy and radiate optimism like a little gob of sugar-coated sunshine. Their taste in movies veer towards romcoms, charming animated fables, modern day fairytales, weepies with happy endings, historical dramas, feel-good musicals and anything with an uplifting moral where the bad guys get their asses kicked and the good guys get their just desserts (or sweet popcorn).

For those who chose B) Salty....

Salty Popcorn Eaters:

Salty popcorn eaters tend to be down-to-earth, take-charge types who tell it like it is and prefer grim reality to la la land any day. They are inclined to also enjoy potato chips, salted nuts, sandwiches, hot dogs with ketchup and mustard, hamburgers with pickles and other salty things. They make loyal and steadfast companions on whom you can always count for an honest opinion, even when it’s not necessarily the one you want to hear. Exponents of character-building tough love rather than wishy-washy-gooey-sticky soft love that does nobody good, they tend to be excellent disciplinarians, good parents and responsible animal owners. They have strong moral values and even stronger opinions. Popularity holds scant appeal for them when integrity is held in the highest esteem, Their taste in movies lean towards gritty realistic dramas, natural disaster doozies, wartime epics, spy movies, martial arts showcases, action-packed blockbusters and road trip flicks. They tend not to believe in fairytales and take happy endings with a pinch of salt (just like their popcorn)

So? Which are you? ^.^

I dont mind both. But, am more inclined towards Sweet! ♥

2011-08-06T12:29:00.002+08:00

156~

I hate making decisions. I'm always afraid that i'll make the wrong ones, then things will start screwing up, and things will be a total disaster. In previous posts i'm sure there was a picture, saying that its because of wrong decisions, then do we have right ones. But i'm afraid of making wrong decisions. I have to get rid of that fear.

Decidophobia - Fear Of Making Decisions.

Yeah, i'm so suffering from that.... I need a doctor... T.T

If not, I just need a butterfly, to show me the way through my life, guiding me to walk the right path... But i guess, it must still be a caterpillar, hiding in some place, where i can't recognize it...

Wrong decisions... wrong actions, wrong words, wrong everything... I just know its not supposed to be like this. Somehow, I just know. But life seems to disagree... I just want to walk the right way. Hold my head high and Walk the right path for once...

I know this is random, but just decided to post. =P

~bye

2011-08-04T19:50:00.007+08:00

155~

Haiz.. i have no idea what to post... but since everyone is emo-ing i shall emo too. :(

With pics... coz i srsly dono what to say. >< SO SORRY spamming pics now eh? =P

='(

=(

Reminds me of Mr Zein's dog...><
:]

=)

=')

♥

ok... emo-ing fail... LOL

~tata

2011-07-31T21:56:00.002+08:00

154~

Sometimes, i just have to hide behind that mask...

Lets just hope I've made enough wrong decisions for this to be the right one....

Maybe we should let go and see what happens...

(I know its abit screwed...><)

But, I'm sorry. If this decision has hurt you...

2011-07-30T00:22:00.003+08:00

153~

Swings… I remember how I used to get all so high and happy whenever I sat on one. It was like the best feeling I could ever have. It kind of really made me feel real great and that I could perhaps really reach for the sky. I used to always run to the playground and have a ride on the swing when something bothered me, and I just let myself relax. But now, it’s hard to find swings around…

Swings are like real life. It has times when it’s up, and times when it’s down. When I was young, I've always had people push me from behind, pushing me up higher, pushing me to reach the sky and enjoy the thrill. When i was young, we were all innocent, all little children, quarreling over mediocre things, then soon, it would just be a kiddish “I don’t want to friend you already lah! “ (Singapore style). No conflicts, no hatred, just simple arguments. All that is needed to fix everything was a gentle handshake with the other party, and we would continue to play as if nothing happened. Everything said was honest and true, without any possibility of a hidden motive. Everyone was friendly and not judgmental. But now...

Now, as i'm older, things aren't that simple... I'm alone. I fall. Words were never meant. Promises are rarely kept. Enemies stay enemies. And there's no one to push you up anymore. I'm alone... Like that teddy bear. Unable to swing myself back up to the sky. Now, being alone. It's hard to push myself up to reach those high heights again. Being alone on that seat, pushing myself up, it's tiring, it's hard, it's exhaustive. All I can do is the sit there and wait. Wait for someone who would push me back up, and swing with me... the rest of my life.

2011-07-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

152~

Currently in LOVE with chocolate these few days...

I may be like CHOCOLATE...

Packaged Nicely... and sweet... Filled with surprises...

But have you ever wondered if...

I may be YOUR cup....

of Hot Chocolate... ♥

HAHAHAHAHA just some chocolate addiction.... =P

Tata~

2011-07-21T21:46:00.002+08:00

151~

我想开了~ Or so i think...

It hurts when life throws rocks at you. I know. But, be glad, its not throwing boulders. Why not look at what we HAVE rather than what we DON'T. One can't have everything in the world, so we are often jealous of what others have. No matter what others think, no matter what others say, Just know that you are perfect, Just The Way you are, and others are just jealous of you instead. Be glad for what you have, and open your eyes out for more. You'll be surprised.

*I hope whatever i've said will take effect soon...><*

2011-07-20T00:41:00.002+08:00

150~

2011-07-17T21:53:00.002+08:00

149~

This sucks... I have fever and is sneezing non-stop... =(

Want to post.. but cant really post now... >< sorry!

2011-07-17T00:11:00.004+08:00

148~

16/07/2011

I'll miss you Hamham...

Thanks for being with me all these while. Love you always!

I know i look weird here, but i couldnt find the other pics... =.=

2011-07-15T22:18:00.005+08:00

147~

I just want somewhere where i can just scream it all out. Or somewhere to just hide and cry it out.

Then, everything will be fine...

2011-07-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

146~

will it?

2011-07-14T19:23:00.002+08:00

145~

"Forgiving doesn’t mean the pain is gone."

i dono what to do anymore...

2011-07-10T01:01:00.004+08:00

144~

its 1. and i have to wake up at 7. Better get some sleep now~

Goodnight...

2011-07-08T22:44:00.007+08:00

143~

Why does these things always happen? I'm sick and tired of it...
I not being cold, i'm not angry. All i am is disappointed. Why? Just tell me. Its really irritating and super hurting. But, its ok. I can get over those messages. But what i can't get over, is why it actually happened. I don't want to try anymore. I know i should never give up. But in today's CME lesson, it kinda dawned on me, that when somethings just can't seem to get right, stop, give up and forget... We'll feel happier that way. Is it true? If so, i'll give up. On you. I'm letting you go.

From young, we've always been told that "Sorry" was a magic word, making everything wrong, right again. Its magic can help everyone forgive anyone, and everything would turn out fine. However, as we grow up, things began to change. You don't think a single sorry would cure everything, right? Having heard you say that for a million and thousand times (ok, exaggerating... Alittle...), I still am unsure whether to trust you ever again.

Over and over again, things happened.
Over and over again, you apologized.

Over and over again, i forgave you.
Over and over again, i trusted you.
Over and over again, i'm always getting disappointed.

I'm really tired. I honestly don't know how long i can continue like this. Thanks to today's CME, i have decided to let go, and forget. You should to. Forget me... Maybe this would turn out so much better.

Maybe i should have listened. Listened to my friends. They told me to just leave you alone, to just ignore you straight, to just ignore your smses, to practically take it as you never existed. However, its hard to do so. I didn't want things to end up, where we become total strangers.

Maybe i should just listen. Should i?

I could be me, it could be the circumstances. But all I've observed is that you changed. Big time. Irregardless, I'm quite disappointed in you. Should i trust you again? Can someone just tell me? Part of me wants to give you another chance, the other wants me to leave you alone...

But, haven't i given enough yet? I know their answer, to break off all contacts with you. That's what everyone want. So, why am i still hesitating? Just tell me why... actually. No.

“ 我想放下, 忘掉, 真正的活得开心。”

Not hurt once and twice over.

2011-07-07T21:38:00.002+08:00

142~

Btw, something random:

My primary school friend / neighbor came to talk to me today! HAHA! nothing surprising?

We didn't really talk for 5years! hahaha after he graduated from primary, all we did was hi and smile. LOL. Not bad lehhh... still rmb me... but he forgot my name :( I STILL REMEMBER HIS OKAY?!?!? hahaha he's nice lehhh... still will come tap on my shoulder and talk to me! LOL

okok. end of random. Goodbye :)

2011-07-07T18:39:00.002+08:00

141~

Totally screwed up maths test as usual... So was feeling kinda low. Maybe you didn't realize, but forget it. That doesn't matter. I didn't think it would.

What i really couldn't get is what you get from all these. Call me flirt, call me bitch, call me scandalous. Whatever. Its none of your business. Why do you even bother so much?

But, do you honestly think i can't hear what you're saying? Do you honestly think that i don't take it to heart? Please don't say i am unable to take "jokes". However, don't you think you've carried things too far? I may seem as though I'm immune to such things, but if you were me. Would you be able to not be affected by it, someway or another?

Saying that i couldn't and shouldn't invade your privacy, when you've always done so to me? Saying that i'm whiny when you whine alot more than me? Listen! Listen to the things you are saying! Are they something you have the right to say? Are they something you CAN say?

I may seem as though all these are things that do not bother me. But i have to let you know. I'm an expert. An expert in keeping things to myself. Even so, don't try to stretch my limits. Who knows? I may very well "explode" someday... when that happens, Watch Out. Don't say i haven't warn you, cause i just did.

Things haven't been well these few days. Things just suck. Not only to me, but yeah. I just don't get it. My efforts are not really paying off. Whatever I've tried, it just won't turn out right. I'm sick and tired to failing over and over again... But what can i do? I only have 2 choices.

1) to continue trying

2) to give up

But since i've made the decision to start it, I'm going to end it successfully... I hope... I could... I will... Right?

You know, no matter how much stuff happened or even just dampen my mood, i will always know of a place i can go to. Makes me feel better. Always. =) Call me weird, but i guess, for me, pet shops just do the trick. I don't know why, but whenever i'm there, i just feel a whole lot better... Its like, when i look at those animals, i kind of forget what i was thinking about and actually focus on them instead. Then, magically, my mood will get better...

Ok, Fine... Not ALL pet shops... Some of them just have too little animals to help much. It would probably help a little, but not much. Those with dogs work the best. I guess, its their vitality, which would make me smile. Seeing them jump around, full or vigor, and their cute faces, i really can not resist smiling. I know i sound crazy, but its true...

So far, my fave branch is "Sam's pets and aquarium", parkway branch. Variety, loads. Staff, great. He's just so friendly, and i guess he recognizes me since i go there, about twice every week.

Please, do not ask me anything. Thanks.

~bye

2011-07-04T11:14:00.003+08:00

140~

Hi. Someone said i promised to post, but i didn't. Ok, this is going to be a random and wuliao post. So You can don't carry on reading. ;)

Youth day is quite ok lah... the concert was not that bad... but the games were quite LOL. haha okok. this is retarded. i got nth to post. =.=

Oyeah... on fri, aft youth day celebrations, went out with my fav people! <3 haha tt peeps! =) They always cheer me up! =) hahaha. Had a super lame + funny + incredible experience with them, and with karyn going crazy and HIGH! =) can't believe she made me dance with her in the middle of the bowling alley... T.T lol.

BUT I DIDN'T OKAY!? HAHAHA! *well, maybe i just spinned once of twice... coz she made me do so? LOL she was holding my hand!!!!! LOL* okok nvm. take it as i didnt do that...

Muahaha, i managed to reach 100 for both rounds of bowling! =P 108 and 106 >< LOL ok, and they nearly killed me. FINE! LOL

okokok, i have to go le. Gotta get ready to go for CSC stepdown. Ms Tan's treat!!!! =) Pizza hut. Though i don't feel like eating pizza, but go for fun bah. =)

GOD... MY HOMEWORK HOW??!?! HAIZ...... i'm dead.

TATA~

2011-07-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

139~

Hi, i wanted to blog, but i decided to go watch looney toons with my bro! LOL!!

ok.

Bye.

I'll blog tomorrow.

If i remember.

~bye

2011-06-29T23:08:00.003+08:00

137~

Wooots! Supposedly looking for info for Hist essay... >.< But come blog abit nvm lah. =P

Anyway, school started and i got to say. Busy~! Ok, maybe cause i stay back everyday to do work... hmmmmm....... reach home so late everyday~ =P then sleep so late oso... Help meeeeee!

By tmr:

- La Compre

- Hist Essay

- Study for Maths pop. GOSHHH!!! Applications of Differentiation! I hate the max and min point thingy!!!! =(

and i am kinda getting used to life now without my hp, comp and tv... O.O i'm weird. Call me weird! ^.^ hmm....

*Btw, i did like the vid that Dr. Foo showed us today. haha the "Inspirations 365days" Zig Ziglar is (Y) hahaha

Random song that i like! ^.^

Okok i SOOOO should be doing my work now.

Toodles~ ^.^

2011-06-25T23:50:00.004+08:00

136~

School is starting in 2 days =( and i'm soooo not looking forward to it. Yeah, i miss my friends and all... but this just sucks. I'm like left with 1 day?! with alot of things undone... I think i'm best at procrastinating... =(

Term 3 is starting, and its nearing the EOYS and bloody hell, i'm totally NOT ready for it. My grades are completely screwed =( i'm totally losing focus and concentration and motivation to actually study. =(

Awesomely, i have no idea how time flew past me this holiday. leaving me to fret last minute =( I didn't touch anime at all this hols!!!! and i'm like so sad now... =(

Apparently, Table tennis camp was just over... and i totally miss DHSTT now... =( The camp, i have to say, wasnt filled with much activities, but it still was just so AWESOME! =)

A camp that made up of mostly captainball, was actually not bad afterall.... here's a summary (hope i rmbered correctly)

Day 1:

-Reached at like 8...

-then we walked to ECP to do CIP which is to pick rubbish... saw a rotting squid and a rotting head-less fish O.O and a ragged doll...

-then went back to eat? lunch?Chicken rice

-played capt. ball...

-started amazing race... (same grp as jiarong, shuyi, shawn, zuohao)

-waterballoon splashed on me. =.= so i got wet. LOL hot weather, so actually it wasnt too bad...

-aft amazing race, everyone played waterballoon... (waterballoon fight?) and stupid HENGYI tried to make everyone target me... =.=

-and aft that, HENGYI and ZUOHAO used those popped balloons, and fill up with abit of water then cont to throw at me, even though we were all just sitting down and ordering our dinner. =.= So SIOWYING decided to disown me... then ask me sit far far away from her coz she didnt want to get wet. T.T (aft failing, zuohao wanted to throw slipper =.=)

- capt. ball again, while waiting for dinner

-dinner (macs. and tasted disgustingly weird)

-got ready for night hunt

-helped WEIHAN paste newspaper over the windows

*the funny us were reading newspaper at the same time. directly reading from the window. hahaha. read comics too! and the small advertisement about a POODLE MALTESE! and the 2 Singaporeans, who wanted to become KPOP people... and yeah*

*nighthunt begins, and siowying and i walked around the school alone... making sure everything is fine, and stupid JOSHUA decided to scare us... by suddenly jumping infront of us when we reached the top of the stairs... =.=*

-So when done, went to shower, and sleep.

-Slept in snr high block classroom, but we chatted till bout 2 before we decided to sleep

-some people sneaked over to the girls' rooms! TSK!

-Woke up at 4+ coz of thunder + lightning. LOL then we cont. talking till 5+

-woke up again at 7

Day 2:

- woke up at 7

- washed up

- PT... i lead. So amazing

- Breakfast at Kampong arang...

- Interlevel match

( Paired with Junhao and Justin for Mixed doubles matches, and siowying for girls doubles *PS... was it Junhao who did the lineup? O.O i have no idea*)

- Y4s WON INTERLEVEL~

- Ate Pizza for lunch

- Played Capt. ball with snrs who came (Y4 vs Y5)

*defended paika! =)

- Farewell party performance

*Y1 guys - Poem

Y1 girls - video

Y2 girls - deco

Y2 guys + Y3 guys - Sing

Y3 girls - sing

Sabo-ed performance:

Y4 + Y5 - sing

omg i cried during the farewell... ABIT NIA OK!?!?!

yeahh.. then went home...

I TOTALLY MISS DHSTT... T.T

and i really dont want to start school of stress and all again T.T

someone kill me now! =(

this just sucks... hopefully Brian and Ervin can make me finish work tomorrow, aft aspen~

ok, have to go sleep le. Nite~

*ps... my cookies didnt turn out as bad as i thought it would be. In fact, they ate it for supper + breakfast. haha. Supper coz they were hungry aft night hunt and the macs was yucks... breakfast coz we had PT before eating! * ^.^

(special thanks to justin yeo for eating most of it coz he was super hungry=.=)

2011-06-21T11:45:00.007+08:00

135~

You have to agree that i'm weird... Well, i bet Oonie agrees! hahaha

Hey! I'm ponning a NOT compulsory training. haha. and some people are still sleeping~

OINK!

Anyway, tomorrow is TT camp & farewell. Hmm, apparently is OUR farewell. Reminds me of how old i am alr...T.T *SOBS*

So, since its farewell, and since its a habit. Here we go again... COOKIES! ^.^ This year's is butter. hahaha. just coz i dont have $$$ to buy more ingredients. so have to do with what i have at home. >.<

Hmmm.... the past 2 days was just O.O SUPPOSEDLY TO DO WORK... but somethings were just too distracting... =.= HAIZ...

MY HOMEWORK HOW?!!??!!?!? DIE! HAHAHA. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? haha procrastination FTW! ^.^

*thinking positively* i finished chem and phy! only..... ok, and LA pw........

*starts to think negatively* i got everything else left. =.=

btw, i just realised i skipped alot of meals these 2 days. hahahaha. Lunch and dinner skip on sun, skipped lunch ytd. hahahahah! WTH! LOL i'm gonna get scolded >.<

AT LEAST I DIDNT GO OFF TO PLAY ARCADE hahaha. when i was supposed to study! right Maoyu and Jenghiang?!?! ^.^

=) handmade things are always the nicest. ^.^ ok, maybe not always...

but its the thought that is nice! ^.^

Ok. need to go prepare the stuff soon.

Cya =)

2011-06-18T18:55:00.002+08:00

134~

yes, Oonie. That quote is true! LOL if not i won't post it. Right? And i cant deny that i am SUPER BORING TO TALK TO. LOL. Nevermind, I still love you coz u talk to me even if i'm boring to talk to! HAHAHA. I sound LES... I'M NOT!

ANYWAY. went out with JAMS today.

10.10 at cineplex orchard. To FINALLY watch Pirates Of the Carribean. LOL! JIAYING SCREAMED!!! hahahaha. DAMN FUNNY! lol!!! anyway, its really very very nice!

Ok. then aft the movie, we didnt know what to do. So practically spent 2hrs dono doing what. Ate lunch @ Long John's Silver, and started IDK doing what to. haha WE ARE DAMN ZAI AT WASTING TIME! (Y)

and the best thing is going into uniqlo and CONSIDERING whether to buy the shirts or not... I saw a "carebear" shirt. Quite cute leh... =P LOL. and some "women always wants more things" shirt. LOL. and finally, decided not to buy any... =( munlin and jiaying didnt get anything too. Only siowying bought....

I OFFICIALLY DECIDED NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT! =)

ok. my life is starting to get boring. SERIOUSLY...

my life is boring, thats y i'm boring. Can't blame me there Oonie...

hmm......... bored. bye.

Ps. I know i used this skin before... but then idk... just put again lor... =)

2011-06-17T23:52:00.001+08:00

133~

THIS IS RANDOM.

HI

i just told someone this:

"Sometimes, the right person, has always been by your side, just that we do not take note."

So zai right? LOL i'm kidding. AND THAT STUPID PERSON THOUGHT I CONFESSING. LOL EGO SHIT! GO BANG WALL LAH! LOL

OK. I'm srsly sianning. =(

Bye~

2011-06-17T22:36:00.003+08:00

132~

Started to fall in love with "I believe You" Nice book... Recommended read. Ok, i only read halfway though... =.= LOL nvm.

I like this quote: "Happiness and sadness are not caused by your surroundings. They’re caused by your thinking."

Nice rite? Yeah i know. haha. So getit into ur head! ^.^

I very sian leh...=(

Its going to be the start of school soon. =( and alot of my work not done

AND ALL THE NICE SHOWS DECIDE TO START SHOWING NOW!!!! T.T me is sad now...=(

I shall just go sad and listen to songs people ask me to listen....

Bye~

just saw this. Hmm~

2011-06-16T12:01:00.003+08:00

131~

lol at ann's house now... >< Just decided to post some nice quotes that i came across! ^.^

The problems with dreams, is that they sometimes come true. But they can never be perfect as we made them to be. Then comes the heartbreak. But, we need dreams to help us live. That is the purpose of our imagination and dreams - to help us live, to project amd follow the image. Sometimes the image gives way to reality and we walk into dreams come true. Other times, we hit projection screens. But remember, the dream is not an end in itself. And once the dream is found, it is at the same time lost and we have to create new dreams to live for. - Colin Cheong (Singaporean novelist)

These are only memories. They remind me I have a past, no matter how painful the memory is. Without past, present and future have no meaning. - Colin Cheong (Singaporean Novelist)

OK! I REALISED I FORGOT TO CLICK THE "PUBLISH POST" BUTTON! SO I'M NOT AT ANN'S HOUSE! HAHA but i going tmr again... *yawns* ahha nvm. Today was just LOL. ok =)

2011-06-15T22:54:00.002+08:00

130~

OMG. Its like halfway through wk 3 of hols! I'm dead meat i tell u...

GAHHH i'm totally running out of time. Its like, I totally wasted so much time, doing things that IDK wad i do!? Erm, do yall getit? As in i waste time, by dono doing what. Yeah. Getit?

anyway...

Kinda wasted today as well. Met Iggy today... Stupid Gigglo went batam without telling. =.= Yeap. And cant believe that he actually rmbered the pact / promise / dream. SOMETHING LIDAT LAH. EPIC... ok. haha I'M CRAZY. (OK, THIS IS JUST RANDOM)

Btw, my cupcakes are gone. =.= 22cupcakes. Finished... and i only ate 1!!!!! NVM. shall make more some other day...

I can / cant wait for TTcamp... its like. IDK WHETHER ITS GONNA BE (Y) though i think it will be. haha but i oso very scared i not enough time to finish my work. thats a (N) :(

HOW!?!!

Someone save me. T.T

~dying

~dead (hoping...)

2011-06-14T23:10:00.009+08:00

129~

damn... totally didnt study today>< so guilty... heh heh... NVM! i tmr got study date! *I think....*

anyway. Spent my day baking <3 hahaha.

COOKIES AND CREAM cupcakes! =P i show pics easier =)

Oreo! hahaha nice design? =P

O for Oreo? LOL

I have the habit of playing with the cupcake cups... ALWAYS

Really look like cookies and cream right? *YUM* (looks abit like Oreo McFlurry)

Into the oven they go~

Rising Rising ^.^

Tada~ Btw, the bottom part is black, becoz of the OREO biscuit as a base. NOT CHAODA!

ok, Please note:

The following pictures are taken while the cupcakes are baking and we were bored. =P

OMG... WADS HE DOING?!

ahhh......... yum =)

What is he doing to me...?
OINK?!

HEEHEE I CAN ROLL MY TONGUE!!!! =)

DON'T WORRY JOEY! HAHA I LOVE YOU TOO! <3 HAHAHA

Btw, look at the fishes... GOT FISHJAM! =) LOL dk why the form lines, like traffic jam lidat. lol cute rite?

okok, have to post. oon is rushing.. haha love u oon. hahha

~toodles =)

2011-06-13T14:48:00.005+08:00

128~♥

Ever wondered how it felt like to live in a dream? It seems nearly impossible... But no harm fantasizing...>< and actually, the world is one... It can be really beautiful u know...

I'm just bored... so some nice pics lah. =)

If only Singapore's sky was like this every night...

Dream Catcher. =) hahaha

Then call me an IDIOT. ^.^

Northern Lights <3

Maldives! ^.^

Japan! ^.^

This is pretty too... Wolves are pretty! =P

OK... I'm currently in Love.. with toy poodles (as in the dog breed) So, abit of spamming?! ahhaha ♥♥♥

Finally...

♥

CUTEST ONE YET! (well all are cute. but i like this one best)

CUTE RITE? saw it at the petshop ytd... gahhh... $3580 T.T its small and cute! ♥

okok... Mini Malteses are cute too... haha. and btw, Chinchillas are damn furry and cute. haha =P Parrots are nice also... Ok, animal frenzy. heh heh. better stop ><

~tata

2011-06-11T14:52:00.009+08:00

127~

This is a special request, and one that was kind of forced =.= coz i have no idea wad to say.

Topic is about

LOVE~

Thanks arh. i have no idea what to say leh...

Great.... HMMMM.... hmmm... HmMmMmMm...

Ok, i have zip idea.. Lets start with some photos lah. ok? ><*

Its quite a huge and general topic...

There are many different types of love, such as sisterly and brotherly love, friendship type, etc etc. but i know what YOU *glares* mean...

Well, i can't really say what is actually is.

According to:

Wikipedia - Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment

Dictionary.com - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person /a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

To me arh... hmm, well i can't say the definitions are wrong or anything. Just that, for me, love is just more than an emotion. Its also kind of a signification of how important someone is to you.

"Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important." - Lisa Hoffman

Love is something that you can't control. You can't control who, when, and why you actually fall in love.

Honestly, to me, love is more about selfless giving, wanting the best for the other party. Regardless of what would happen to you after that. Its something that you give, without expecting any returns. Its something no one can live without, but whether we can find it, is something that is uncertain.

They said that if you are unable to sleep, it's because there's someone thinking about you...surely that person misses you. That's why if you can't sleep, sorry, I can't help it. - anonymous

Love is true, only when one is able to accept the imperfections, and look beyond to find the beauty. After which, life is going to be "perfect" in a sense, then we'll be happy. That's the fairytale, ain't it?

Love is beautiful and sweet, but it shouldn't be seen nor heard, or even touched. It should be felt, not by the mind. But the heart. <3

You know you're loved when non-stop attention is all on you by only that one person. You know you're loved, if he/she tries all ways, just to make you smile.

You know you're in love, when you sense a sweet taste in your heart, which lasts there, whenever he/she is there. You know you're in love, when you smile just when he / she is near.

damn, can't get rid of the thingy there... >:(

Love is sweet, and its always the best moments of your life. It would normally contain the most genuine smiles, the most genuine tears, the most genuine and beautiful things. But sometimes, it hurts, during the quarrels, during the cold wars, during the breakups, it hurts alot. But, i'll still stick to "love is sweet", its best to think positive, isnt it? ^.^

People always say, if you love someone, let them go. But, others say, love is finding someone that you can't live without. Ironic isn't it? But hey, thats something for you to think about. Coz i have no idea too. but i only have to say: "有时放下是最好的选择，但它也是最痛苦的。可是，幸福是要自己争取的。" So i'm confused too. Great! =)

Well, Love is something that everyone would, could and should go through. Whether it is being loved, to love, or both. It just makes part of our lives, something that we won't forget.

*I'll edit if i have anything to add. Coz i'm srsly stuck. hahahahaha >< Well, some pics that i found. Quite cute! =P

LOL makes sense lehh.... =P

The bear is cute! ><

He just LOVES his teddy bear! かわいい! <3

♥

Can le right? =P haha

~tata

2011-06-09T12:44:00.003+08:00

126~

I am currently FREAKING BORED. So, i did some LOL quizzes. haha. here are the results ^.^

Your Vision is Bright

More than anything else, you'd like people to be brighter, happier, and more optimistic.

It's minds like yours that have inspired people to live meaningful lives and treat one another better.

You have always been spirited and energetic. You feel driven to do good.

You feel most alive when you feel like you are making a difference in someone else's life. That's where you really shine.

Well, i couldn't find pink...=P

You Are Snow White

You are unique in your captivating beauty and purity of heart. You are simply a good person.

Unfortunately, this also means that there are a few people who are insanely jealous of you.

Your graciousness and simple charm make it easy for you to make friends.

You are generous and don't have superficial bone in your body. You see past appearances and quirks.

What Fairy Tale Are You?

O.O weirded. HAHA the 1st para is totally off.

You Are a Dreamer

You are primarily concerned with possibilities. You tend to be a fanciful person.

All of the world's opportunities sometimes overwhelm you.

You are obsessed with ideas and tend to be a big thinker. Theories interest you greatly.

You crave intellectual stimulation. You are drawn to a philosophical way of life.

Are You a Dreamer or a Doer?

Bleh... XP

Your Spiritual Number is Two

You bring kindness and harmony into other people's lives.

Whenever a situation or idea seems extreme, you try to lend some balance.

Right now, your life is about benefiting from choices you've made in your past.

You have done your best to be a good person, and it is starting to pay off.

You are an idealist with interesting ideas. You can't help but see all of the beauty in the world.

But you are also aware of the world and its limitations. You have realistic expectations.

What's Your Spiritual Number?

Yay, i like 2. haha (the questions, i cant find a link with this...)

Your Height Says You're Logical

You are a rational, stable person. You have a strong head on your shoulders.

You are a good judge of character - and you don't suffer fools gladly.

You are highly motivated and a bit of a daredevil. You crave success.

Limitations and rules frustrate you, but you have enough savvy to overcome them.

You are about as tall as the average Korean woman.

What Does Your Height Say About You?

Average Korean woman? They so short meh?!

You Are Adventurous

You are quite adventurous and brave, but you are also reasonable about it. You don't have to be on an adventure 24/7.

You have good judgment and balance. You like to try new and exciting things, but you also pay attention to risk.

You're not the type of person who would throw your life away just to go on a new trip or have a new romantic partner.

You like your thrills in small, safe doses. You are gutsy in all aspects of your life from career to relationships.

Are You Adventurous?

Wow...

You Are a Warm Person

You are welcoming to everyone you meet. You are friendly and even a little touchy-feely at times.

You are curious about people, and you find a lot of value in friendships. You need lots of human connections.

You are bold and enthusiastic. You like to try new things, and you crave a challenge.

Your energy comes in bursts, and you tend to burn brightly until you burn out.

Are You Warm or Cool?

This is fun.. ^.^ *ok, i am srsly bored...*

You Are Chocolate Truffles

You are unpredictable and even a little zany. No one knows what to expect when you're around.

You have a short attention span and need a lot of variety in your life.

You are easily addicted to the things that you love. It's hard for you to only eat one chocolate from the box.

What Chocolate Dessert Are You?

Short attention span. agree! especially for studies>< LOL

WEIRDEST ONE:

You Have a Whimsical Heart

You believe that love is magical and special. You dream of being swept off your feet, and you can't help but cherish the feeling of falling in love.

You find love to be a mystery. You can't control who you love, and you can't control who loves you back.

Your heart is sometimes pulled in different directions. It's sometimes difficult to tell what your heart really wants.

Your love life is varies from month to month. You never know what's going to happen - or who you're going to fall for next.

What Kind of Heart Do You Have?

O.O MUCH

okok. byebye~

2011-06-08T23:26:00.002+08:00

125~

ok, i'm super super tired... but suan le. I promised =.=

hmm... i have no idea wads today's topic. But lets tok about... errr...

REVENGE

I chose this, coz of the movie i watched, and the show i watched when i came home.

(btw, Xmen was quite cool! haha now, i dont mind watching Green Lantern><)

Revenge is super super scary. Its like, because of others' mistake, or wrong decisions, that cause another person to develop hatred, and maybe even grief. Revenge is often taken on the people who causes you most grief, and thus evolving hatred. Its scary what revenge can do to people... Changing their mindset, losing control of themselves, and perhaps maybe start to have irrational thoughts. * For example, in the channel 8 police drama series show, it was about this old man, whose grandson got knocked down by a red car, he became super depressed and swore to revenge his grandson. Thus, he burns down every single red car he sees. *

(not gonna reveal anything about the movie though, so yeah)

Revenge, well... its often something that happens, after something happened to someone. It could have not been directly affecting the person, but it just would have some impact. Often, the things actually happen coz of misunderstandings of some sort. After which, the "victim" actually pledged to take revenge, but sometimes, it may harm those around him too. So, revenge doesn't only affect one, but alot of others around him. Its scary as it can be a chain reaction...

“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind." - Mahatma Gandhi

If we keep vowing on revenge, sooner or later, its going to hurt us too. Even if the revenge is not physical, it will still come back to haunt everyone mentally. So, why not learn to forgive, and open up our hearts to those who could have done wrong? Its forgiveness that completes revenge. Everyone would have made a wrong choice or a wrong step which could scar them for life, its a regret, but they might feel better if YOU gave them a chance to repent, be the one who forgives, and better of all, forget. Who knows, things may turn out better.

well, yeapp. You see, revenge is caused by hatred, which is blind. For us, well at least me, hatred normally starts from misunderstandings... Well, minor hatred to say. can't really say its though SUPER jialat type, but u know what i mean. Yes, maybe no one actually meant for anything to happen, and it could all be a misunderstanding, but when things happen, it is human nature to start blaming someone else, and from there, hate comes. And what happens?

So, i guess what i'm trying to say is, that. Well, yes, when things happen, there's got to be at least someone at fault, even maybe you. Or it could also be that everyone is at fault, but its human nature to actually think that someone else has more responsibility to why things turned out that way. So, yes, i can't say anything about that... but at least when things happen, try not to point the finger at others, but instead, learn to accept mistakes. People often make mistakes, its just whether we are willing to forgive and forget. Isn't that like the best solution yet?

Yes, its hard to forgive someone almost immediately after they made a mistake... Yes, you could feel anger and slight hatred towards them. But dispel it as soon as possible, to prevent things from turning sour between all. Try to accept others' mistakes, forgive what they have done, and who knows, you have just have given yourself another friend.

Isit me, or did i totally went off topic. I think i did. NVM! lazy edit. super duper tired to also.*yawns* i'll just leave it like that ^.^

Learn to forgive. Be nice.

Anyway, hope yall are having fun and all. While i stay here and rot? Thanks for letting me know last minute about the sudden change, and don't worry, i'm not pissed. *GLARES* well, maybe i am. hmm. DC ME. go have fun with all the chiobus... and as usual, i expect alot of pics AGAIN. I'm so thinking of quitting fb =.= its getting on my nerves.

TATA (i kept my promise ok?!)

2011-06-07T16:55:00.004+08:00

124~

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~Harold Coffin

Jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values.

Isit necessary? Why bother yourself with others, comparing yourself with others, feeling helpless when others are better than you in one way or another? Jealousy is just something that will only torture you, making you feel useless in the presence of others. Jealousy lowers your self-esteem and confidence.

Yes, it is natural to be jealous of others when they excel in things you cant. Yes, it is natural to be jealous of others when they have more than what you do. Yes, it is natural to be jealous of others when they seem to have more luck than you.

Yes, its ok to be, when life seems to be better for them.

But, never forget, while envying others, you will always have something that they don't. You're special, unique, and have you talent hidden somewhere. You don't have to waste your time, complaining and feeling helpless when others do better than you in certain aspects. Life may seem unfair, but it treats all of us equally. Theirs may be smooth sailing now, but for all you know, life may come down crashing on them anytime soon. (Not cursing anyone in any way)

So, stop comparing yourself with others. You're perfect the way you are. So what if they have a much greater social circle? So what if they're prettier/ handsome? So what if they're smarter and have better grades? So what if they're more talented? SO WHAT??

Its you who you have to care about the most... You're the most important. So, don't torture yourself with such jealousy, and in the end, hurt yourself in the process. Its just not worth it.

2011-06-06T23:37:00.005+08:00

123~

Wow, nice number...

My mum showed me my phone bill... I was SHOCKED, as in srsly... coz of:

Total Local Minutes : 397Min 46Sec

Incoming Calls : 226Min 28Sec

Total Sms : 6251 Msg ($312.55)

THANK GOD FOR MY STUDENT PLAN! <3 haha So, smses and incoming are... FREE! ^.^

anyway~

Here's my to-do list for the holidays:

Its the 2nd week of the HOLS... And i have "OFFICIALLY" started on (alittle) hmwk. T.T

Blogging coz i have nothing to do, and have some "MYSELF" time, with no one bothering about me. LOL. I make it sound so sad. But, seriously, i have nothing better to do. I'm scared to start on an anime. Coz i'll definitely get stuck..

So apparently, its a boring holiday...

You know, often, we all have cases of mixed emotions, don't know whether to be happy, sad, angry, surprised, shocked, emo, WADEVA u can name. Well, i guess its normal. (OK, i'm only starting on this coz i'm experiencing it now..) It often drive us NUTS to actually come to conclude what emotions we are experiencing. Its really frustrating and all, yeah, i know. (And it drives people around u nuts too ^.^ thats the funny part)

Everyone experiences that, including me, duh. I wonder why i always care so much about how i feel, about what emotion am i having, what am i supposed to be feeling etc. Does it matter that much? Do i really have to be feeling something? Isit ok to be neutral, like, a stone figure. I came to the conclusion:

ITS FINE!

Why not? Humans are prone to all kinds of emotions, so having mixed is fine. But having emotions are tiring, so sometimes, we take a break by being neutral. So, its all fine. Does it matter, maybe not.. If it doesn't affect you, It doesn't matter.

~It just happens... we're human ~

"i am both happy and sad at the same time, and im still trying to figure out how that could be."
— Stephen Chbosky

*But to me, it doesn't matter~

Ooh, so late le.. kk i stop le.

Nites~

2011-06-01T19:57:00.004+08:00

122~ *I liked that Pegasus... =(*

Heys!

I have no idea what to post leh...(Sorry OON) Coz very =( now.

My mum wants to confiscate my hp when school reopens...
Anyway, It was raining super heavily this afternoon, and i dono whether my grandma was complaining or she was happy that it was raining =.= One moment she was complaining that the rain was taking very long to stop, and another moment she's saying that the cold breeze very nice. LOL then reminded me of this pic that i saw on -somewhere- :

Hahaha Oon, familiar? BUT! the last statement only applies to PEOPLE IN LOVE yoz... haha.

Oyeah, this raindrop thing totally reminds me of Kungfu Panda2. HAHA Inner peace~~~ LOL! Watched it ytd with Jennifer and Raphael. And they made me realise i bought quite alot of things from Bugis. ahhaha NVM! BUGIS is ♥! haha

Hmm... i realised i havent posted anything about OBS. So here goes, a super super short summary:

I'm in Watch 22, Raleigh! DHSRaleigh FTW ♥ haha. Awesome Watch, with Awesome teammates, with Awesome Instructors. I ♥ CAMP 2>< Really (Raleigh) Cook DUO. =) haha

I have post OBS problems.... now i find sleeping on the floor nice too... =.= i am WEIRD. Did Rock climbing, Kayaking ( I like that), Jetty Jump!♥

Some highlights:

Kayaking - capsizing practice, somehow disfigured my finger when helping others bring up the kayaks...

Jetty Jump - I jumped in the sea and had to wait for Pheobe. Then this CUTE jellyfish decided to swim with me... So i had to come out... =.=

Last Dinner - Super HIGH! With "guess the number" and the forfeits + delicious apple crumble *YUM*

Fireworks - Short but really nice!

Journal writing - Really got me thinking sia><

------------------------------End of OBS recap. LOL but i miss OBS:( ------------------------

And i like this photo... Shall use INNER PEACE, and catch this raindrop... >< but looks so fake ;( cheat my feelings one... this pic.

OK, idk wad to write le...

~And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow~Gilbert K. Chesterton

Without the rain, without the downsides of our lives, maybe, our lives wont be as colorful as it could be, not as wonderful... So just let the rain fall, It'll pass. =) heehee idk. RANDOM! =P

ok bye!~ ^.^

2011-05-16T22:51:00.003+08:00

OMG I LOVE PEGASUS! HAHAHA sudden liking. =)

i think i have "JOEY'S HYPER ILLNESS!" HAHAHA

I think PEGASUS is damn cool! damn pretty! damn magical! damn nice! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OMG I LOVE IT. hahaha

OK, my high-ness, not so high alr! haha LOL okok tata! =)

2011-05-16T21:36:00.003+08:00

120~

Life isn't always as awesome as u hope it would be. Sometimes, its good to you, sometimes it just crashes down on you. I'm sure you know what i'm referring to. Things don't always go our way, but I guess, thats life for everyone. Life has its ups and downs, and turns. But what can we do, other than staying strong and fight on all the way? Life is too short to do anything, but be as happy as we can. So all we can do is to leave those painful moments away at the back of our mind, and keep a smile on our faces, and not let anything turn it upside down. So, clear those tears, and let that light shine from your eyes, just as how it looks best. =)

There are always moments in life which you want to keep, and those that you want to throw. These are the moments which actually leave a print in your life, and thats something that can't disappear. Everyone is afraid of change. But life just changes, no matter you like it or not... So, just accept it, and be flexible. Who knows, it might change for the better.

Seems like alot of things have been going through your mind, and i don't know if that is good or bad. All, i know, is that we shouldn't be concentrating on this. I thank you for all your efforts and all, Its a nice feeling. >< But, sometimes, i really think that you don't have to do so much. So yeah. ><

ANYWAYS! OBS IS IN 2 DAYS! HELP! hahah hope it'll be awesome... though i'm slightly nervous about it.... Pulau Ubin... 4days... BYE! haha.

*BTW, today was just plain RETARDED! WASTE TIME SIA! *

TATA~ =)

2011-05-11T18:01:00.008+08:00

119~

Love me, only if you mean it~

I've been thinking a lot recently, wondering if this was the best way out. You know this may never work, but you just kept on. I appreciate you for your efforts, but i'm just not sure. I don't want to be hurt a second time, or maybe the third or forth.

Doubt anyone can control your actions or anything, but maybe this is just all an act.
Also, I don't want this to be confirmed as a scam, but i'm really afraid that it may be.

Really, maybe after all the setbacks, I've gotten wary of your trust, and your feelings. This life is honestly like one that you may find on a singaporean typical drama series.

Right in the beginning, everything may seem all smooth sailing, but after a while,

Everything starts to hay-wire, and the results may be something that is the total opposite of how it started. In the beginning, everything was so sweet, so wonderful, so dreamlike.

Next , before you know it, the male ends up with another woman, even though having stuck with the Female Lead for damn long. Its a weird way to put this, but i hope you get what i'm trying to say.

Beautiful things, may fade away quick~

The sunset, its really beautiful, but not lasting. Soon, it will be night, and everything turns dark. Though it may seem clear and all, but silently, the raindrops slowly fall and drip on the window panes, becoming a storm.

Guess what i'm saying is that, maybe you shouldn't be trying so hard, and maybe you're just lying to yourself. Maybe i'm not the right person for you, maybe you're just lying, deceiving yourself about your feelings. Maybe you should really go ask yourself whether i'm worth all these. Perhaps i'm not, perhaps someone deserves it more, perhaps this is not how it is supposed to be.

Even if you say so, do you act as if you are? Are your actions reflecting what you say? Maybe you think that since I'm not around, i will be unable to know what you're doing behind my back. Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. Doesn't matter to be, but if you are, please stop deceiving yourself. Just ask yourself 1 more time, if this is worth your all.

2011-05-06T20:02:00.009+08:00

118~

Choices we make in our lives, there are bound to have some that are right, but some may be wrong. But who is the one that decides which path is the right one? Sometimes, the route we choose aren't the best ones, they could be the ones that hurt us the most, but since its our decision, maybe we should just move on, never turn back to regret.

Words said, are impossible to take back. Actions made, are impossible to retract. Paths chosen, are impossible to walk back. - alina w.

Sometimes, i really regret doing and saying things that i shouldn't have done. But, what can i do? other then saying "I'm sorry". I cant take back my words, neither can i retract my actions. If only there was a time traveler, where i can turn back time, and set things right. However, come to think of it, what's the point of life if we can turn back time? Mistakes will not be learnt, Errors will continue to appear. As they always say: "learn from your mistakes", so yeah. I'm trying to.

Alot of things happened recently, n yeah its very confusing. Well, i don't know bout how i feel about things now, but all i know, is that, you've left a mark in my memories, and i really want to thank you for that. Its not your fault to perhaps screw up my life, though i don't think you did... I know, you've tried to amend for that, but, why choose to leave? Its heaven's will to bring you to know me, and why not just make the best out of it? Why not just let it be? Why hurt yourself, when you aren't sure that things will turn out better? In fact, I feel that its quite sad, not only for you, but for me too.

So, i guess what i'm trying to say, is that: Even if we don't end up together, can u at least promise me, that you will not attempt to leave my life ever again? I don't want to lose you, even as a friend. I'm honored to have received your affections, and I thank you for all the care you've given me. But, i'm sorry, that i'm unable to return them. I don't want to be in any r/s now. Hope you understand.

For now, i really hope things stay the way they are. Then, i'm happy enough. I know i may sound selfish, but i'm really afraid that things may sour between us.

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.” ~ James Earl Jones

2011-05-04T18:01:00.016+08:00

117~

Sad... totally screw up all my tests. My grades are so dead now...=(
Whats wrong with me? Why do i always feel like sleeping during a chinese test?!?! GAHH... >< Totally screw up le lah... =(

Well, on the other hand, heehee.. tests are all almost over!!! ^.^ Left with tmr maths pop, then we're done! Hopefully can go "class outing" that hasnt been decided yet.. haha Iceskating... and bowling? Kbox? Movie? Idk wad else. hahaha =)

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

2011-04-28T17:57:00.005+08:00

i made this myself^^

I honestly dont want to say anything, but seriously, i'm tired of all this. Its not like i want anything to continue. But why? Just tell me why, everyday, something new comes up and affects me all over again?

I'm disappointed in you. And to think i thought you were really nice.

You actually said i was bitching about others, when i didnt say anything, and you don't know the whole story. Fine, its ok if you direct to me, and me alone. But i cant take it if you drag my friends in. You think you know all that is happening. I'm sad to say that you dont. So please, stop whatever you're doing, and for once, fine out what is REALLY happening before you judge. I wont blame you if after that, you still stick with your mentality. But, i just hope you dont put down my friends like that. I'll forget it if you're only putting me down.. So please, just stop.

Btw, some things some people have to note:

1) No, i dont think i'm chio / pretty / cute / whatever. Coz i know i'm not. I'm not that thick skinned.

2) I have ears... =.=

3) My friends have nothing to do with this. So, shush up on whatever negative words you're saying about them.

4) If you think i'm gonna crumble, you're way wrong.

I'm gonna keep my head held high, living my life as how it should. Even if the whole world is against me, i know. i still have my friends and family. I don't live for others, I dont live for you, I live for myself.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today ~James Dean

2011-04-27T22:34:00.006+08:00

115~

A picture speaks a thousand words (wow, i wish i can just put pictures in my essays)

But,

Thanks to all of you who have been standing by me all these while. I really appreciate it. Hopefully, i'll be able to stand on my two feet and walk with even more confidence and spirit, more than how i used to. Each setback is another stepping stone and a learning journey. I will try my best, and mature even more from this. After all, life is always full of ups and downs. No?

2011-04-25T18:23:00.009+08:00

114~

Forget it. You lost my trust in you. BUT, i need you to convey a message:

"Well girls, thanks! i shall take that as a very nice compliment. If you expect me to argue back, i'm sorry, i wont stoop down to your level.

2 people can play in this game, but let me tell you,
You lost. Big time.
I can be a real bitch, even worse than you, but i chose not to."

Well. stick with them all you want, its not my business anymore. But i have to tell you. I quit playing nice with regards to you.

Really

2011-04-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

113~

Well at least i know how Ervin feels...

Anyway, Hope you people had fun!

It was a day well spent, no? At least better than mine.

Lets see, got scolded in the morning, cause we were late, and apparently, they were the ones who woke up late 1st. Then they "booked" all the toilets, and we couldn't go get ready... and so, we were late, and its our fault. Great! =.=

Reached KFC. Wow, damn lot of ppl, and i practically stoned there... and luckily they didn't nagged bout not helping. Well, yall used to nag bout me not helping, and when i do, say i 越帮越忙. So, spent like 30mins - 45mins stoning there...

Then, ate, and I continued stoning while they gossiped (adults), played like a bunch of irritating monkeys (kids), playing with aunts iphone (sis).

So, finally decided to go. And since KFC was quite near my grandma hse, and thats where we're going, i wanted to walk there alone... then i got nagged again. Excellent.

OK... this is dumb. I doubt anyone who actually comes to read my blog, would actually want to read how i spent the whole day.

ok then, i shall summarize.

THE DAY WAS GREAT! (Y) if u considered the following to be fun:

1) Stoning

2) Getting nagged at a few times

3) Walking around the house with nothing to do

4) Made to run errands

5) Do homework

Well, awesome day isnt it?

FUN, GREAT, WEEEE! =.=

gosh... who am i kidding? forget it. Shall ignore this day then.

tata

2011-04-19T15:51:00.005+08:00

112~

In school now.. have to stone here, while waiting for ann to come back from her match.

She'll reach at about 7, so we'll end about 8. And i havent called my parents to tell them i'll be late. some stupid conflicts, i dont feel like talking much..

I dono wads wrong with me leh.. these few days i get irritated very easily, then like taking jokes as insults against me. Very sian de leh...

Then, academically, things arent really going well. its not i dont want to work hard.. but i just realised, no matter how hard i try, nothing's gonna come out of it. Yes, i know i cant give up. I never said i would. But i'm really very tired of trying, then failing, then i'll try again, but to my dismay, fail again. Its really tiring...

Best of all, i cant talk to anyone about this...

Parents will kill me even more when they find out bout my grades...

Teachers, give up on me le...

Friends, mostly know le lah... but still? sianz...

I really dowan to screw up anything else alr... but i cant help it. I dont dare to ask for more tuitions, coz:

1) i'm afraid i dont have much time

2) my tuition fees are already very high...

3) I'm stressed up enough

ok... not much privacy in class here... =.= so i shall stop. Actually nvm lah.. no one actually comes to this blog... alr dead... so yeah.. nvm lah.

2011-04-06T23:44:00.005+08:00

111th post...

supposedly happy, but... all i can think of is how to apologize.

I'm sorry. I didn't expect things to turn out this way... If i didnt exist, none of this would have happened. Right? I really dont want you to be hurt because of these. I'm sorry for hurting you, subconsciously. Forget me, please. I'm gonna keep hurting you like this, and i honestly don't want to. =(

Please, i really don't want anyone to be hurt because of me. So, can you just drop this memory, and return to that carefree life of yours. Honestly... I'd rather you live you life happily, without having a single memory of me; than you suffering in silence because of me. =(

Please, Be happy again...

2011-04-02T00:11:00.003+08:00

YAY CHANGED!!! smth simple... haha

got tired of the navigation things... took out the music coz idk wad songs to put... haha!

Oh shit Crap!!! i think i deleted the music de thingy.... wahh.. gg. =.= haiz... okok gotta go find again!!! >:(

haha

bye!!!

2011-04-01T18:56:00.003+08:00

Heylo.... got my new specs le... but hor... SRSLY NOT USED TO IT!!!! ITS SERIOUSLY VERY MAFAN!

Haiz... now sch life is boring... shall do smth... change blogskin! of course... smth like this! haha but no more navigations de! =) haha

okok.. i shall

to entertain myself for now! haha. btw,

HAPPY APRIL'S "smarties" FOOLS DAY!!! <3 LOVE YALL "smartypants" JOKERS!!!!!

haha okok now go go find blogskin! =)